Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A Vegetarian Walks into A Steak House

Seems like the beginning of a really terrible joke. However, once upon a time this situation occurred to me. It was after a season of Dinner Theatre shows in Grand Falls-Windsor, in which I had acted and preformed in the live band and it was time for the cast/staff year end dinner/party at the Mount Peyton Steak House.

Yeah! I know, I acted?! Go figure. Seems strange.


Dude, there is nothing more awkward than a vegetarian in a restaurant that specializes in selling meat on sizzling hot plates. It's like being the kid on holidays in Florida with a broken arm. Yeah, you know the kid; the one with the garbage bag tied around his arm sticking out of the swimming pool like a large blackish-brownish-green flag. Did I mention that happened to me? Childhood... isn't it fantastic.



Well it seemed like a good enough reason for a drink or two considering it was all going to be paid for by the boss. It was like the summer end bonus for a good season of performances. Well, the restaurant was about as fancy as it gets in GF-W so most people were going for fancy drinks and I was still curious about the substance called "beer." The establishment didn't seem to carry any Northern Lager or Northern Light, so what now?
-"I'll have a Heineken, please."

WHAT?! Even to this day I know it was a better choice than Canadian, Blue, or Coors Light. Keeping in mind Northern was the only thing anyone could even consider "craft" or truly local in Newfoundland at the time.



I was thinking to myself: "Well, here we go. My first beer, I should pour it into a glass the way I was told to respect a beer. I bet people will think I'm lame for that, oh well, I'm already a skateboarder and play drums in a ska-band; it's not like it can get any harder to pick up chicks."



...and as I go to pour it into a glass someone decides to back up from the table, elbows out and knock the glass of beer over on the table. Strike two for the vegetarian.



-"Waitress, let me get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini!"


So, there it was...my first drink. It wasn't beer, but it may have sparked my interested for big "piny" double IPAs.


You may be wondering by now: "When did you have your first beer?"


Stay tuned sports fans.

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